2011, here we are! When did that happen?

Boy, 2010 just FLEW by, didn't it? I can't believe how fast this past year went! Seems like just yesterday that I made a bunch of New Year's resolutions that I completely failed at.

I don't see the point in making them, anyway. And why does it have to be a new year to make a resolution or a change in your life? What's so special about that? You can have a fresh start or try to change your life in little or big ways any day of the year, as far as I'm concerned! Seems like I'm always attempting to "start over" in some way anyway. Whether it be trying to eat better, get more sleep, spending more quality time with my hubby, getting the kids to bed on time, moving more, cooking more, budget better, etc. etc. etc, it seems like I'm constantly in a state of attempted improvement. For what it's worth, I always succeed to a certain extent, but I'm never perfect. If I was, I wouldn't have anything to work at, right? Plus, some things you just can't do enough OF, like quality family time or eating right, you know? There's not a certain level that you can get to that's optimal. There's always something to work toward or strive for.

Lately, it's trying to keep our practice moving and growing and keeping our family life as unaffected by it as possible. It's hard to not bring work home with us, because it IS our life right now, everything depends upon it.

Eh. Seems like a dreary and depressing topic and I really don't want to dwell on it any more than I already do. So. Let's see, where was I? Oh, right, New Year, 2011, all that.

We had a nice Christmas this year, our first in our new house, starting/continuing our Spencer family traditions. Which, really, this is the first time we've really had a chance to start some traditions that we CAN keep in place since we don't HAVE to move in 2 years unless we want to. It's finally our turn to be stable and static and not have to upend our entire family. We can safely get attached to people and places without feeling like we'll have to abandon them in a couple of years. It's a really nice feeling, I've got to say. I enjoyed the Navy but I longed to be part of a permanent community, have my kids grow up with friends and neighbors and have a permanent address that wasn't my parents'. We finally get a chance to have our own stuff. Wow. It still doesn't seem real. I keep thinking that we're gonna have to go catch a flight back to Japan any time now. I think it'll take a couple of years to really sink in that we've REALLY not got any more obligations to the military. For it to really feel like we're not going to have to uproot our entire lives anymore.

So we spent a quiet Christmas at home, just us. Grandma and Grandpa stopped by for a couple of hours on Christmas Day and that was nice. We had brunch and they got to see the grandbabies on Christmas morning, which is always exciting and cute. The kids were excited to see them and show off their loot from Santa and Mom and Dad. We went down to Arkansas for New Year's and it felt good to be back there, I love visiting Steve and Shirley and the farm. I went out skeet shooting with Glynn and Steve for my first time ever and discovered a new talent of mine. It was entirely too much fun, blowing stuff up in the middle of nowhere. What a rush! It's like first time you connect with a golf ball, it's exhilarating and you just want to do it again. The first time I hit one of those little orange clay pigeons and saw it explode into dust, I was hooked. Now granted, I have bruises all over my shoulder from the shotgun kick but it was worth it.

Annie and Sarah have been going to "Nana and Papaw Camp" for years, since they were in diapers. That was more out of necessity than anything, they had to be connected to Glynn somehow in that difficult time years ago, as who really wants to be away from their babies for more than a few hours at a time? I know that I never was able to leave my kids overnight until just recently when they ASKED to stay with Grandma and Grandpa. The whole point is that I think Maddie and Brady are just about at the right age to go visit the farm for a couple of days for Nana and Papaw camp this summer. They all LOVE it down there and Nana and Papaw spoil them rotten and runs them ragged outdoors all day long. We went on a "walkabout" with Papaw the day we came back and the babies had such a blast. They love being down there and playing with the dog and cat and just enjoying being outdoors in such a remote area, surrounded by the stream and the mountains and the critters. I know some of my best memories were spending summers with my Grandma and Uncle Ken on their "farm" in Kansas. I want Maddie and Brady to have the same experiences that I did. And I know they'll love it. They've already gotten to spend some overnights with Grandma and Grandpa, and I want them to be well-rounded and spread their little wonderfulness around with both sets of grandparents.

That's about it for now, I've got two little stinkers that don't want to go to sleep and Arkansas is playing in the Sugar Bowl and I've got to give that some more serious attention before my husband leaves me for gross neglect.

I'll try to post more often. I've got some pictures from Christmas and I'll try to put them up tomorrow or the next day. Happy New Year, everyone. I hope it's great for everybody.

I'm glad I'm not afraid of needles!

Considering that I had about sixty of them sticking out of me today for about an hour or so. That's right. Acupuncture. I finally broke down and tried it. And you know what? I've decided to just keep an open mind and not try to question it or understand it. There's a reason it's been around for hundreds of years and millions of people practice it. Okay, maybe not millions, but a whole bunch, okay? And I'm at a point where I'll try anything. ANYTHING.

I'm so. freaking. tired. of waking up in agony every morning. Of waiting for the pain to subside after taking medications. Of just barely getting by in the morning, trying to get all four kids ready, get them to school, and try to make myself look presentable through excruciating pain. It sucks so bad. So now I'm ready to try to do anything. Even if I don't understand it.

So I went in today and had a zillion needles stuck into me and then I waited. I don't know what it was supposed to do or how I was supposed to feel and I know it's not some automatic thing, but it made me feel better just to be doing SOMETHING. I felt like just the act of forward progress was enough.

So I have to go back next week for another round, and some ultrasound therapy too. He also talked about some "muscle manipulation" or something like that. I don't care if he tries to saw me in half or light me on fire, if it makes me feel even a tenth of a percent better, it's worth it.

So other than the pincushion that I've been turned into, we had a fun morning at work today. The Patterson dental crew had asked us earlier this month if they could bring some people by to look at our practice. Some dentists that were looking to open their own practices. Like, so we could SHOW OFF our cool freaking practice!! So I was expecting like 4 or 5 dentists to come through with our Patterson reps, but this HUGE tour bus pulls up and out come 40 people!! It was crazy! It was so much fun to have all of those people come through and talk about how neat our space was and hear the compliments on our design. It felt awesome to actually HAVE something to show off. Our dream has come true, and it's awesome, if I do say so myself. I am so proud of the way it has turned out. Today it really hit home, too. That's OUR practice! Nobody's gonna come in and tell us we have to go back to Japan! Nobody's gonna tell us we CAN'T do this that or the other. It's ALL OURS! Okay, well technically it's still the bank's but let's not get all label-y over things, all right?


When I got home with the kids this afternoon, I decided to go get in a nice long bubble bath to relax and let my body recover from my pin-cushion experience, so I headed upstairs and filled up my huge tub. I was just about to get out when who do you think burst into my bathroom? That's right. The Maddie and her sidekick. They got so excited when they saw the big tub all filled up with bubbles and immediately started getting naked. Splash! They decided to come in for a swim.

There's nothing better the cute little naked wet babies in a bathtub. Blowing bubbles. "Swimming" across the tub. Little floating naked butts. Brady saying, "Look Mommy! It makes me float!" and bobbing up and down like a little naked apple.

I LOVE bathtime with the babies. And it's been a long time since they bombarded me like that. I'll be sad when they're too old for that, too. Little nuggets. I love 'em so much.

It's going to be a rainy yucky weekend which really sucks, because I really wanted to take the kids to the pumpkin patch. And I don't know if we'll have time to do it before Halloween, so we may have to get our pumpkins at the grocery store. Not ideal, but we'll do what we have to do, I suppose. We've really enjoyed the past couple of years being able to go to our local pumpkin patch in Illinois and I'd like to continue that tradition here. The kids are always so cute going to pick out their pumpkins and they get so excited to go on hayrides and stuff. I hope we don't have to miss out on that this year.

So pray for sunshine for us, and I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Hello, lovelies, have you missed me?

I've been a bit self-indulgent these last few months. With having yet ANOTHER surgery, separating from the Navy, moving, and opening our own dental practice, we've had just a few things on our plate lately.



So I apologize.



In case anyone noticed that I was gone.

But here I am! So let me fill you in on the last four months.

First of all, health-wise: I had yet another surgery to try to correct the problem that was causing my pain. I had a triple-nerve neurectomy and wound dissection done under general anesthesia, and for a few weeks afterwards I actually thought that it was going to work. But then, just like clockwork, I woke up one morning and had that same old pain again, the aching, gnawing, terrible pain that makes me want to die. And it's been there ever since. Lovely. SO, with the separating from the Navy thing hanging over my head, I had to go through multiple exams and appointments at the VA to have them "rate" me and my "disability", since it started on active duty, apparently the Navy is going to take care of my medical care and prescriptions for the rest of my life, as long as I'm treated at a military treatment facility. So I've got THAT going for me. Since we just recently separated from the Navy, I now have to send in my final separation paperwork and they will rate my disability, give me a percentage based on what their exams saw. And then, depending on the percentage, I'll be getting a check every month for the rest of my life and be eligible for care at VA facilities. So there's your silver lining, folks. They're paying me with money for my pain and suffering. I'd rather have a cure, but I'll take what I can get these days.

We moved from Antioch, IL to Lee's Summit, MO on September 13th. We thought that we would have a few weeks to get settled before hitting the ground running with the practice but we were oh. so. wrong. From the minute we rolled into Missouri, it's been nonstop with just stuff. We've not had a moment to relax in the last 4 months, hardly. BUT, the practice is now up, open, and running and we're starting the fill the books more every day. It's my dream, it has been forever, and our practice is everything I've ever wanted and more. It turned out so well that I can hardly believe it's ours. I keep feeling like we're going to have to get on a plane and go back to Great Lakes any minute, like this is just some dream, some vacation, that's going to end eventually. But you know what? IT'S NOT! We're free, free, FREE from the Navy and now WE'RE calling the shots. And I'd be lying through my teeth if I told you that didn't feel pretty great.

I ended up hiring some great girls. I mean, MAN, did we get lucky. I've got wonderful people working for us and they all get along! It's almost too good to be true. I'm sure that as we grow and expand, we'll go through some growing pains somewhere, but for now? I've got the perfect staff. AND, I was able to hire Paula Schultz as our office manager, someone that I'd worked with back in Maryville when I was a teenager working for Dr. Phil. She's been like another mom to me for so long and I KNOW that she's amazing at what she does, I just got lucky enough to have her living near me and available and willing to come to work with us. Glynn loves her as much as I do (well, almost) and we thank our lucky stars every day that she's part of our practice. She's become indispensable to us so quickly that I hope she works with us forever!

The kids are doing great. We've got Maddie and Brady in a Kindercare nearby our house (like, seriously, it's two minutes away) and they LOVE it. I'm so glad we found such a great place so quickly. Maddie turned 5 in September and just missed the cutoff for kindergarten so she'll start next year. Meanwhile, she and Brady are happy as clams in their new classrooms, and every day they tell me, "I had a GREAT day today, Mommy!" They especially love show-and-tell Wednesdays and learning German, Spanish, and sign language.

Annie and Sarah are doing well in their schools in Belton. We're able to see them so much now, it's awesome. We have them every Wednesday and every other weekend (although lately it's been every weekend, woo-hoo!). I just took them back-to-school clothes shopping recently and found out that they were both wearing pants about 4 sizes too small! No wonder Annie's ass was hanging out of all of her shorts, I just thought she was trying to be too grown up, but it turns out she just didn't have anything that fit her! Poor kids. Also, Annie's been telling us she's having trouble seeing the board at school so we took her to get her eyes checked last week, and yep, you guessed it, the girl needs glasses. I'm just glad we took her to get it checked out! I don't know HOW long she'd been struggling like that!

I took the girls last week to get new hairdos, too. Annie got a wave perm, which looks just darling on her, and Sarah got a cute little bob cut just below her chin. Again, adorable. (Naturally). They're both doing great, considering. Their mom and step-dad split up over the summer and they've had to recently move to a town-house with their mom and little sister, so they've had their little lives turned upside down recently. I'm just glad we're back to help out, and provide some stability in their lives right now. It's confusing and hurtful when parents have problems, and especially when Dan (their stepdad) has become such a huge part of their lives and they love him so much. He's a great guy and we've been really glad to have him be around to be such a great influence on the girls, so we were a little concerned for them to lose him so suddenly. Although, lately, they've gotten to start going to church with him on the weekends that they're with Teri, and I think they get to see him pretty often through the week.

So that brings us up to speed, I suppose, although it's a highly edited and expedited version of the events of the last 4 months. And no update would be complete without some sad news, as well: My Uncle Jack died this week. He had been very sick for a very long time and it was expected, but it's never easy.

Dad and I went to a memorial service today at Camp Geiger, where Jack had wanted his ashes spread. Jack, Dad, and their sons all were big into Scouts, and had went up the ranks through the Mic-O-Say tribe and Eagle Scouts. Jack's wishes were to have his ashes spread at the point at Camp Gieger, around the Mic-o-Say fire pit, where they did their ceremonial dances and such. It's forbidden to go there if you are NOT a Mic-O-Say scout, so we had to get special permission to go there and have family members present for the service. It was short, simple, and to the point. Joyce's minister came and said some very nice and comforting words, and my dad was the one to spread Jack's ashes. I don't think Jack would have had it any other way. In fact, a bit of the ashes blew back onto Dad's leg and boot, so he brought a bit of Jack home with us today. We had a good laugh about that.

Although that side of our family has a complicated past, it was good to be there today to have closure and say goodbye. We've long since put our differences aside, and Jack and Joyce have made an effort to be closer to the family for years, with much success. But with a long and sometimes painful family history, it makes for some complex emotions at a time like this. I was just glad to be with Dad today.

So there's my story of the last four months. We're up at Mom and Dad's tonight and I'm grateful to be here, this is one of the places where I feel most serene and safe and comforted. You never get too old to want to just go home sometimes. And you NEVER outgrow wanting Mom and Dad, no matter how old you get. I know that much is true.

Goodnight and God bless, everybody. I appreciate any prayers for our family right now, we can always use them.

Here we go again!

I met with my surgeon last week and he determined that the last 14 months? That nerve? That's been treated/injected/ablated? Was the WRONG ONE.

The WRONG fucking nerve has been being treated for the last 14 MONTHS. That my pain has been coming from a different accessory nerve in that region.

Wonderful.

So now, it's time to be sliced and diced again, and SOON. The downside of having a military surgeon? They DEPLOY. At a moment's notice.

On Friday morning, my surgeon got notice that he was deploying. Soon. As in July 5th soon. So my surgery? Will be done within a week. (Still have to meet with him today to find out when)

The good news is that I'll get it done and over with. Not exactly great timing with a house-hunting/business trip coming up, but if we waited any longer, the timing would just get worse. SO, Glynn may have to make a trip solo and conference me in on the phone for everything.

Whatever it takes. THIS time, I WILL let my body heal itself. I won't be getting up and stressing out my body. No kids jumping on my incision. No housework. No cooking. No anything. I swear.

My poor husband. My poor mom. They've really got their work cut out for them. I'm just grateful to have some help. I couldn't do this alone.

So keep those hands together and keep the prayers coming, because I need them now more than ever. I'm scared. I don't like surgery, especially one where I don't know how bad it's going to be, with so many unknowns going into it. How big the incision will be, what will he find? What will he have to do to fix it? I just need to think positive and pray for the best, a small incision, a simple repair, and for God to bless my surgeon's hands and mind, and also watch over him as he deploys.

Just to name a few more things to pray about: the impeding separation from the military, the move, the new practice, the health and well-being of my family, and for Glynn and I to be able to work through all of this stress without hurting each other. That someday we will be able to settle down, grow roots, and stay PUT. With ONE job, ONE place to live, ONE place to work. I can't wait.

That's all for now, I'll post more as I get more details.

Cut me open baby!

So it's only been 13 months since my hernia repair surgery. I mean, ONLY 13 months of chronic pain that makes my life a living hell. Sure, I've had ups and downs and some treatments have provided relief for a few weeks, but it always comes back.

I had a mini (okay, a major) breakdown/breakthrough this week. I had been tapering down the dosage of pain medication and that was apparently a bad idea, because as I tapered it down the pain went UP. And UP. And UP. To the point that I could hardly walk a few nights ago, and was constantly in tears. I broke down at work to my friend Emily about how miserable I was and how I couldn't keep going on like this. I was so exhausted by putting on the mask of "I'm fine" that I just lost it. The pain was out of control and I just wanted to give up.

So Emily took charge. She dragged me by my ear down to internal medicine and strongarmed the nurses down there into getting me an appointment with my incredible doctor. I mean, she was scaring ME a little bit with her take-charge-ed-ness. Like Moses, she just parted people out of her way and wouldn't take no for an answer.

Anyway, my doc put me back on the higher dose of medication, scheduled a STAT MRI with contrast that DAY, and referred me to a CIVILIAN surgeon. Thank GOD. I just want this shit cut out of me.

There's something like 6% of people who have the same surgery I did that have it RE-done a year later due to chronic pain. It's usually associated with the mesh that is implanted in the body during the initial surgery, it forms massive scar tissue, can trap nerves, form neuromas around permanent suture sites, stuff like that. It only figures the I would be one of those 6% of people. You know, because I don't have anything ELSE going on right now. It's so convenient and everything.

The pain management place I have been going to has been doing just that--managing my PAIN. Or should I say mis-managing it. Point is, they haven't been doing anything to take care of the cause of pain. Basically every time I come in and start questioning them, they say something like, "Well, we could give you another injection" or "let's refill these medications and see how you're doing in a month" or my favorite "we may not GET any better than this". ??????? If I have to learn to LIVE like this, then I don't want any part of it.

So the point is, I'm finally going to get something done about it. I will FIND a surgeon to cut this mesh out of me and repair my abdominal wall the old-fashioned way. This mesh shit works for lots of people and makes the surgery really quick and easy, but I'm sorry, Gore-Tex belongs on boots and jackets, not in my BODY. I mean, when I first went to the pain clinic, my nurse told me, "Oh, yeah, we have TONS of patients who are like you. Those mesh repairs cause a lot of problems." ???????? So where's the common sense there? If so many people have complications, then why are surgeons still using this stuff? Because so many other people DON'T have issues? What's the acceptable morbidity percent for them? Because if X% of MY patients had the chance of having this kind of pain and complications, you can damn sure bet I wouldn't be doing procedures like that anymore. I'd find another way. But that's just me.

Okay, rant over. For now.

By Monday my referral to the surgeon should come through and I'm going to make an appointment ASAP. I want this over and done with. Like yesterday.

I'll keep y'all posted on my continuing adventures. Prayers appreciated! Love you guys!

Forget the Vaseline, how about nail polish?

So, I'm getting paid back for ruining so much of my parents' furniture with nail polish remover. Karma's a bitch.

Maddie decided to try and paint her own toenails the other day while I was taking a nap with Brady. She hauled all of the stuff upstairs to her room that she would need, and proceeded to paint her toes, feet, carpet and nightstand purple and red.

So pretty!

She was so freakin' cute, she looked so proud of herself that she had surprised me by being a big girl and painting her own toes. She really didn't MEAN to spill the polish on the carpet. There is no WAY I could get mad at her. Daddy and I just had a talk with her that next time she wanted to be a princess and paint her nails, she should ask for help first.


This MAY just be the cutest thing she's done. ALL little girls get into Mommy's makeup or nail polish at least once, it's a right of passage. I remember doing that kind of thing when I was a little girl too.

So, I got the honor of spending about 2 hours on my hands and knees with industrial acetone, scrubbing and scrubbing the carpet, trimming some fibers, and praying that it would come out. It did! Carpet looks good as new, it just smells to holy hell in there, so Maddie got a couple of nights sleeping in "Grandma and Grandpa's room" on their bed while her room cleared out. And you know what else I discovered? The Mr. Clean magic eraser takes nail polish off of bedside tables without damaging the paint or finish! Who knew?


I love my kids. I don't care how big of mess they make, these are things I'll never forget. And I don't want to.


BUT, I feel like Mr. Clean could've saved my mom a bunch of headaches if he would have JUST came out with his eraser about 33 years ago. Damn that bald guy.

Anyone know how to clean Vaseline off of dressers?

That's right, Vaseline.

SMEARED all over a dresser.

Courtesy of Brady and Maddie.


I'll back up a little and set the scene for their latest crime. Glynn and I had decided that they were both big enough to take down the gate that was at the bottom of the stairs, to have access to their rooms to play during the day and whatever.

They were THRILLED. They spent the day scurrying up and down the stairs, having "adventures" and playing in their rooms, making a mess, I knew, but I didn't care as long as they were happy. Messes can be picked up. Clothes and toys all over the room? No biggie.

But I forgot to do a pre-emptive exam of their rooms before I let them loose. I had forgotten that I usually leave some baby vicks and a little jar of vaseline next to Brady's bed so I can keep his cheeks and chin from drying out and getting all flaky. I usually put it on him at bedtime and didn't think about it when we got the bright idea to let the kids have free reign.

Well, we had a couple of mishaps where both of the kids got injured by playing together, Brady had a door closed on him and Maddie got hit with a dinosaur. Not big injuries, but enough to get a little mommy snuggling and "Oh, poor baby"s out of me.

The next thing I know, Brady's standing at the top of the stairs yelling down at me, "Mommy! I got medicine for my owie! It's all better now!" I looked up to see him holding a blue jar, no lid in sight. My heart sunk. What in the world? I scampered up the stairs to see him and Maddie COVERED in Vaseline and baby Vicks rub. Also? They had coated the front of his dresser with it.

I cleaned them and the dresser up the best I could and let them run around naked for awhile.

All you can really do is laugh. And I did. In fact, this one is going to be remembered for a long time.

But at least they have soft skin. And they smell minty/eucalyptus-y fresh. All clear lungs and nasal passages in our house!

Also? If someone has any idea how to get the vaseline residue off the dresser?

I'm all ears.