I had a dream last night......

....another one, about Grandma.


To say I'd had a few dreams about Grandma in the past year or so would be an understatement.


I had another one last night.

In my dream last night, I dreamt that we had gone to visit Grandma, and that there was a period of time when we had all laid down to watch a movie, and instantly, I was reverted to a childlike me, in which Grandma laid down with me and held me throughout a movie. Almost exactly like I do with both of my babies.

Which is exactly where I slept last night. I fell asleep with Brady on the couch, just cuddled up to him, wrapping him up in my arms, hoping that he could feel how much I love him.

I felt like this was a message. A message from her. In which she was telling me, "Hey. I'm here. I'm looking out for you. I'm here for you, whatever you need."

I talked to my mom today. She said she had had a dream about Grandma a few days ago as well. Even when she was in Mexico, enjoying a week with Dad on a well-deserved vacay! (And, BTW, my parents ROCK. Mom and Dad repelled down a waterfall AND rode a zip line through the jungle! In addition to the temporary tattoos! What bad-asses!)

I know that Grandma is looking out for me. I feel her presence almost daily. I know that as much as she worried about me when she was alive, that she just couldn't let go of that in heaven.

I'm comforted by that. As I've always been comforted by knowing she's always been thinking of me and worrying about me, my entire life.

I feel like she's given me a message. Like, whatever happens, it's going to be okay, I'm here for you and you've got someone looking out for you.


That's an awesome feeling. I love knowing, in the core of my soul, that my beloved Grandma is still worrying about me. And watching over me, now, and making sure I'm okay.

I'm comforted. I'm soothed. I can't explain it any other way. I miss her more than I could have ever imagined. I constantly feel like a piece of me is missing. We had always been very close. I was the youngest grandchild, so I feel like we had a special bond that was unique. Some days, the ache of missing her is so palpable, so painful, that all I want to do is shut myself in a room and cry.

I think that we had a special bond because not only was I the youngest grandchild, I was her daughter's baby. And my mom has told me that there has always been something unique about that for her. I know that I felt like my summer visits with her would never grow old. I felt like I would never outgrow her and Uncle Ken, and our special time together during our summer breaks from school. I think I was the grandkid that stayed with her even through high school, I don't know if that is correct or not, but I know that I would give anything to go back in time and relive some of those moments we had together during those special summer visits. Some of my best memories are of those times.

And you know what? I know that MY kids are developing a special relationship with THEIR Grandma and Grandpa as well (as well as their Nana and Papaw), and that warms my heart to no end. To see history repeat itself is priceless.

I think that's all I've got for tonight. I'm exhausted, physically and emotionally. I only hope and pray that everyone has a chance to know and love a grandparent as much as I did. There is nothing that could ever replace that.

Good night.