Okay, I know I'm getting old

but this is just ridiculous.

My AARP card came in the mail yesterday. ???????

I'm thirty-fucking-TWO, which is WELL below the qualifying age of 50 to be a member of this esteemed organization.

On the plus side, I wonder if I'll get a discount on the early bird special at Denny's now. And if anyone will "card" me to see if I'm really 50, just aging beautifully. I am thrilled when I get carded to buy alcohol, that means I look young enough to be 21 (in some people's eyes, anyway) HA! So this seems like a drastic swing in the other direction.

Okay, whatever. We had a good laugh over it, but I promptly went and slathered on a ton of anti-wrinkle cream around my eyes and performed a full-body examination for liver spots and gray hairs. (I found none, thankfully -- partially due to an excellent hair stylist, but that is privileged information).

So in addition to my new AARP status, the only other exciting event lately happened on Friday afternoon. I don't want to get into specifics, but let's just say I guess I have been more stressed out than I realized, because there was a little event that happened on Friday, just a snarky, nasty comment directed towards me that normally I would have either ignored or shot back at.

Instead? I went to my office and LOST it. Completely came unglued, and had a total breakdown. We're talking shoulders shaking, sobbing, wailing, all-out good cry. I guess I was in need of it, because when I was finally done letting it all out, I felt.....well, lighter somehow, I guess. Cleansed. Refreshed. Except for the swollen eyes and red nose, and the splitting headache from all that crying.

I think all of this recent severe pain I've been having has really been wearing me down emotionally as well as physically. Throw in the stresses of the practice, leaving the Navy, and two sick kids for a week, and you've got the makings of a breakdown.

Hey, every woman needs a good cry now and then, and I haven't had one for a very long time. Not to get too TMI-ish, but in the past, I'd get a little emotional once a month and therefore have a little release there, so it didn't build up like it has been. Well, ever since I had a different form of birth control placed, I don't GET that little monthly visitor anymore and don't have the mood swings, PMSing where I could have a good cry every month and get it out of my system. Picture all of that building up over the past two YEARS and that's what came out on Friday.

So after work, I went and picked up the kids, came home, and once Glynn got home, he was sweet enough to take the late shift with the kids so I could get some rest and start feeling better. I went to bed at 7:00 that night. 7:00!! I slept like the dead, until 7:00 the next morning, when Brady came in, climbed up on the bed, and snuggled with me. Now THAT's a great way to start a day on a good note. I got up feeling refreshed, relaxed, and ready to face the day.

The moral of this story? Get your cry on once in awhile. If you don't, you might implode.

Also? This coming week we should (SHOULD) hear from the last two banks that we've submitted our loan applications for, and they'll be telling us yay or nay on the loan. I'm scared shitless that we're not going to get it, just like the banks are scared shitless to lend any money out right now.

BUT, I'm thinking positive. I'm going to keep my head up, my spirits high, and be confident that we are going to get approved for our loan. I'm excited about the upcoming processes after the loan goes through. It's an obscene amount of work, but I feel good about it. I'm not dreading it at all, in fact, I'm looking forward to it. You know why? Because it's for US, for our DREAM. For our future together, both personally and professionally. I've got a hectic week coming up this week, a few appointments that I have to make around my super busy patient care schedule, and I think that's a good thing to keep me occupied so I don't sit around waiting for the email or phone call from the banks. I need to stay positive, but not sit and stew about it all week.

SO, should anyone have a few extra moments to send up some prayers for us this week that we get approved for the loan that allows us to build our dream together. Thanks to all. Love you guys!